


Last Goodbye

by navaan



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode: s04e18 The End of Time (2), F/M, Goodbyes, Love, Romance, Stand Alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-26
Updated: 2010-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor makes his last and most important goodbye to the girl he has lost more than once. Written after rewatching EoT for the umpteenth time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Goodbye

He had made his goodbyes – all but the most important one. He had in his very own way said goodbye to all his companions and friends. The people that had mattered to him in this regeneration. Even his best friend, who would never, ever be allowed to remember his name or the time they had spent together. From the bottom of his hearts he hoped that married life worked out for her now, that she had found her place in life and with the money the lottery ticket would win her, Donna could go on to do anything she wanted, to show the world that she could be so much more – even without the help of a skinny spaceman.

Now that only left one person he wanted to see one last time through these eyes, before he had to go on and became someone else, another him.

His time was running out fast. But he held on. Only one left... The one that had saved him, when the war had left him broken and a little crazy. The one that had touched him so deeply that loosing her had been nearly his undoing. Because she had made him love again. Love. Something that he had never wanted to feel again, but with her it had come easily to him.

Rose. He still loved her, but she had a good and hopefully happy life with the other him in the other universe. He smiled. A part of this regeneration would still be alive for her, even if he died today. _He_ could give her, what would never have been possible between this full fledged Time Lord and a human girl. His twin was essentially him, enough to love Rose like he did, but there was also enough of the gold-hearted, loud-mouthed Chiswik spitfire named Donna in him, to make him just this teeny bit more perfect for Rose. _He_ had no problems with telling her, how he felt, and she deserved that. If _anyone_ had ever deserved that, it was Rose Tyler.

He could feel his body decaying around him, the regeneration was starting in slow painful steps. On one hand he was thankful for the time the process had given him, but the didn't like this slow death. It made him fear what would happen to him this time. Everything could go wrong, and he hadn't exactly been lucky with his regenerating processes very often. He didn't want it to happen at all. There was still so much more he could do in this form, as this Doctor... He feared the change. For some reason he couldn't remember being this afraid of the process before. So much was different this time. The fatefullness of it and the prophecy talk had really rattled him. In his body he could feel the regeneration energy already starting to work, but he still wasn't sure if this time, he would just die and be gone. He had gone to far on Mars... Too far perhaps...

The pain nearly made him crumble. He let himself fall against a wall. Then he smiled. He could hear her voice. And Jackie's... Oh, Jackie. He had liked her too, in his own way, the way he still felt for Mickey. Rose was coming his way, moving towards the estate, her mother leaving in another direction. She walked past and he took his time just watching her. So young. Just a girl. A beautiful, beautiful normal London girl. He wanted to go to her, then he winced. Pain soured through his body again and he gave a audible gasp. Not long now...

“You all right, mate?” She had turned to look at him. No recognition in her eyes, because there time together was her future, and the best part of his past.

“Yeah.”

“Too much to drink?”

“Something like that.” _You will never know_ , he thought. _You'll have him by your side, and if he knows what's good for him, he won't ever lose you. You'll have a good life. But you will never know of my death..._

“Maybe it's time you went home.”

“Yeah.” She had no idea, how right her words were. He was glad, she cared at all. His Rose. Always caring. Even for a drunk stranger on new years day.

“Anyway. Happy new year.” She looked so happy, so beautiful and happy.

“And you.”

She was about to go. He could see her already turning, walking away. He ached to say “I love you.” But his time was running out and he couldn't upset her. Their time was yet to come. It broke both of his hearts, because again he could not give her a meaningful goodbye. He wanted to give her something, that would feel like a fitting parting gift...

“What year is this?”

“Blimey, how much did you have?” Her voice carried amusement. This was so Rose. Life. Love. She seemed more amused that exasperated.

“It's 2005. January the first.”

“2005. Tell you what. I bet you're going to have a really great year.” And he knew, that it would be a great year. Because they would meet and she would heal him.

She gave him a bright and dazzling smile. He knew that smile. She had taken a liking to him, although she had only just met him. Really he could be anyone but the girl's heart went out to him. He loved her for it. This was how she would always be in his heart. “Yeah.” She paused. “See ya.” She says and happily made her way to the door.

 _And you_ , he wanted to call, but kept the thought silent, close to his hart. Because he knew, that for her the future was yet to come. But for him this would be the last and final time that he had ever seen Rose Tyler.

The last meaningful thing he would ever see through these eyes.

At least he could keep this. The picture of a happy Rose burnt into his memories. He would always miss her, but this time he would change without her, into someone else not bound to the one girl he had so much to thank for.

The pain was getting unbearable. Time he became a new man... Time he went “home” to the one constant of his life – to face his end and new beginning.


End file.
